Writing Backwards

What I call ‘backwards writing’ is when a sentence names the subject and often the associated verbs and whatnot then a comma and all description follows (or worse, a needless description of why the writer thinks these things are important). It’s lazy writing.

Here is a sample of flowery ‘backwards writing’ (83 words):

It was Sunday, the best day of the week. Harriet groaned and rolled over, not wanting to rise from the deep warm comfort of her bed. It was only 8:30, much too early to wake. The blinding brightness of the summer morning wouldn’t relent, lighting her room too much for the curtains to dim it out. Even her blankets over her head couldn’t overcome the beckoning of the day for her to wake up, as much as she wanted to sleep.


Broken out sentence by sentence, here is what went wrong:

It was Sunday, the best day of the week. – It’s like the ‘best day’ part is some kind of aside the author just HAD to tell you, but forgot to somewhere between ‘was’ and ‘Sunday’ so hey – we’ll tag it on. Seriously? Couldn’t you just backspace a little and insert it where it goes? Or leave it alone?
Harriet groaned and rolled over, not wanting to rise so early from the deep warm comfort of her bed. – The imagery in the second half is nice and relatable. Why, though, did the author tack it on after? It’s not really a terrible sentence but needlessly backward (or inside out).
It was only 8:30, much too early to wake. – We’ve already established it’s too early for waking up on a Sunday so this whole sentence is useless, but also overly wordy because it’s backwards.
The blinding brightness of the summer morning wouldn’t relent, lighting her room too much for the curtains to dim it out. – Needlessly wordy - a recurrent syndrome of ‘backwards writing’.
Even her blankets over her head couldn’t overcome the beckoning of the day for her to wake up, as much as she wanted to sleep. – What? She wants to stay in bed? Gee, hasn’t that been mentioned already? Repetition is also a syndrome of ‘backwards writing’.


Somewhat-flowery-un-backwards-ed writing (49 words):

Summer Sundays always stared too early for Harriet’s taste. They felt too early when she woke even when she managed to sleep in a little. Her warm blankets were no match to block out the blinding sunlight that cut effortlessly through the curtains and sleep had met its demise.

Un-flowery-un-backwards-ed writing (28 words):

Summer Sundays are always too bright too early for Harriet. The deep and comfortable warmth of bed couldn’t banish the blinding call to rise and start the day.


There is a difference in the imagery, granted, but is it important imagery? What’s missing in the shortest version besides the useless naming of the time and a mention of normal bedroom things like curtains and blankets? Nothing. Blankets are implied by Harriet being in bed and feeling warm, the curtains implied by it being a bedroom, though less obviously than the blankets. Have we lost anything without the mention of the curtains? Only if they are vital to the story before or after this short segment have we lost something.

That begs the question, is ‘backwards writing’ always bad, always good, or somewhere in between? If it is in between, does it lean toward good or bad or not? That I can answer with one simple word: DEPENDS.

This ‘backwards writing’ thing is all a part of that mysterious agent fall-back called VOICE. Or style (but both, really). The way you launch into descriptions (turn a phrase, if you will) is vital to landing an agent and ultimately to the success of your book sales later on. An over abundance of ‘backwards writing’ screams EDITOR NEEDED to me and I’m not alone in hearing it.

Know your genre. The voices of the three versions above are different and would fit into stories with very different aims. A romance can get away with more flowery talk than most – and with more ‘backwards writing’ than most. BUT NOT TOO MUCH. A thriller, espionage novel would keel over and die from any fauna or much ‘backward writing’ at all since that style slows the pace.

My tip to you is regardless of your genre, take a careful look at all backwards sentences and think of ways to rewrite them (even if that means rewriting a whole page or more). This will likely lower your word count and give you a lot more space to move plot forward and impress an agent.

But what do I know, I’m unpublished.